Light Up A Life with Nightingale House this Christmas

This is why every December, Nightingale House Hospice hold their Light Up a Life campaign, giving families and friends the chance to remember their loved ones and helping raise much-needed funds towards patient care and support to local people in our community.

Light up a Life is a special event when the hospice tree is lit for the first time during the Advent season, and those glimmers of light offer remembrance and tribute to those who have played such a special part in our lives, an opportunity to remember and celebrate the lives of loved ones in a positive way.

Nightingale House Hospice's 2022 Light up a Life service will take place within the hospice grounds at Nightingale House, Chester Road, Wrexham, LL11 2SJ on Sunday, December 4 at 4.30pm and is open to everyone. It is a non-ticketed event.

If you are unable to attend this service, there are two others in and around the community - one at St Chad' Church, Hanmer on Thursday, December 8 at 6.30pm and Sunday, December 4 at Christchurch, Bala at 6pm.

If you would like to dedicate someone who has been precious to you and light up a life for them, dedications can be made online by visiting www.nightingalehouse.co.uk/in-memory/light-up-life or by phoning 01978 314292. Those you are dedicating to, do not have to have been cared for by the hospice, everyone is welcome and the invitation extends to everyone.

There is no minimum donation, all we ask is that you are as generous as possible, so you can keep helping "make every moment count" for patients and families.

Nightingale House Hospice.

Nightingale House Hospice share why families take part in our Light up a Life event each year and pay tribute to the some of those remembered on our Hospice Christmas Tree...

Gayle Evans, pictured with her husband Mark.

• Gayle Evans

On January 6, 2018, Mark Evans suffered a stroke at home. He was 47-years-old.

After 10 long weeks in hospital, Mark recovered well enough to return home learning to walk and talk again. Sadly two weeks after returning home, Mark and his wife Gayle received the news he had a brain tumour, which it was discovered had been the original cause of the stroke and Mark was diagnosed with Stage 4 Glioblastoma.

The prognosis they were given was 12-14 months. Mark and Gayle knew they had to try and make the most of every day! Sadly, Mark's condition continued to deteriorate, and he passed away peacefully at Nightingale House on December 17.

Gayle said: "The care Nightingale House Hospice provided was second to none, the staff are absolutely amazing, and they make you feel at home. Nothing is too much trouble for them.

"I believe that if Mark had been at home in his last days, he probably would have suffered a lot more. They are dedicated to caring for all their patients - nothing was too much trouble, and I was able to be with Mark and feel like his wife again, not just his career and make the most of this limited time together.

"I have dedicated a light on the Hospice Christmas tree every year since in memory of Mark."

Pamela Valentine with her husband Phillip and sons Matthew and Ben.

• Pamela Valentine

Nightingale House has played a huge role in my life and my family's life. After my husband died, I went on to be chair of the Board of Trustees, so I have long known about the huge amount of effort that goes on behind the scenes including organising events such as Light up a Life.

However, I saw that most when my husband Phillip was diagnosed with terminal cancer aged 44 and spent a lot of his final months at the hospice. He received extraordinary care from the doctors and nurses there, and it always felt like a safe and welcoming space to spend time with him.

The incredible warmth of the place almost makes you forget its raison d'être and that very poorly people are being treated there. During those final months, it felt like a safe cocoon from the painful reality that we were all facing and I will be forever grateful for that.

While losing a close family member is always a painful experience, it was of great comfort that Phillip was afforded such dignity at the end to his life. My children, aged seven and eight at the time were offered support from the Family Bereavement Support team during that time.

Tracey Price-Francis' dad John.

• Tracey Price-Francis

Back in January 2020, we received the devastating news our dad had stage 4 lung cancer. It was arranged for our dad, John, to be brought to the hospice so he could receive the care and attention he needed.

Sadly, our dad passed away the day before he got the chance to see what an amazing place Nightingale House Hospice is.

In the March as we all know, covid hit, and like many other families we felt separated at a time we should have all been together. As the months passed and Christmas was drawing near and it would have been our first without our dad, we decided a light on the hospice tree would give us comfort in knowing that the hospice was there for our dad but most of all for all of us.

As our dad was our shining light and Light Up A Life will always be a time to remember him.

Delyth Underwood' and her dad Emrys Whitley.

• Delyth Underwood

My dad Emrys Whitley died in 1987 at the age of 63 when my mum, Eleri, was 59. When he was very poorly and my mum was doing her best to look after him at home,

I remember her saying that she was petrified - she just didn't know how and when he would pass away and if she was prepared for it.

At the time, the Wrexham community, with the guidance of Dr Arthurs, was doing their best to raise money for a hospice to be built in Wrexham.

My sister and I thought it would have been wonderful if my dad (and mum) could have had the support from such a place. Once the hospice was built in 1995, my mum, sister and I have supported whenever we could, taking part in events like the Midnight Walk and Light Up A Life. I light a light in memory of my dad and now sadly, my mum on the hospice tree every year.

Paul Baines' mum Marie, pictured with her daughter and Paul’s sister, Caroline.

• Paul Baines

I first became aware of Light Up A Life from my mum Marie Baines. My sister Caroline passed away at the Maelor Hospital in February 2000 at the age of 34.

My mum was completely devastated but found the Light Up A Life dedication was an appropriate way of remembering Caroline, as well as supporting the tremendous work at the hospice.

In 2021 mum herself was admitted into Nightingale House for end of life care. Although this was a desperately sad time for us all the support of the nursing staff, care team and every member of the hospice family was truly exceptional.

Not only did they provide the care required by mum but their kindness to myself and my wife provided that extra layer of comfort at such a difficult time. It's hard to put into words the gratitude my family have for all at the hospice as a simple 'thank you' seems insufficient.

In my opinion they really are heroes in the true sense of the word. Subsequently I was very grateful for the support from the Family Bereavement team as I was trying to come to terms with my own loss.

The conversations I had helped significantly in making sense of everything that had happened and provided a great deal of comfort.

Even though the pain of loss never goes fully away it does subside and thankfully the Light Up A life fundraiser now gives me an opportunity to remember both my mum and my sister and in some small way help others going through their own difficult situations.

Anne Fox with her husband Dave.

• Anne Fox

Dave and I moved to Wrexham in 2017 and our first contact with Nightingale House Hospice was in 2018 when my lovely husband Dave was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer.

There wasn't any treatment available as he also had advancing Alzheimer's disease too. It was a devastating time for us. After referral to Nightingale House, Dave commenced Day Services and as a retired music teacher, he really enjoyed and looked forward to the music therapy sessions. During that time, I enjoyed complimentary therapy sessions.

Unfortunately, the pandemic halted Day Services and our face-to-face contact with staff but the telephone support we received was so valuable to us at that time. The support and compassion from everyone became our lifeline and continued even after Dave sadly died at Christmas 2020.

I started to volunteer at the hospice and support fundraising, having witnessed first-hand the exemplary care given to both patients and their families. It is vital that this service is able to continue and care given to both patients and their families. It is vital that this service I able to continue and raising awareness and funds is fundamental to this.

Light up a life is a special way of both raising funds and remembering our loved ones at what can be a very emotional and difficult time of year. Christmas is not only a time for celebration, but also a time of reflection and memories. Remembering special times with our precious loved ones who are no longer with us and seeing the lights shining bright on the tree, each light dedicated to a loved one, is a time to celebrate their lives and remember those special memories.

For me, remembering Dave at Christmas time is extra poignant as it is also his anniversary. He loved Christmas so much and lighting up the tree was always his highlight during the festive season. Light Up A life replicates Christmases past with very special memories to cherish. It is also a time to remember special times with my parents and my brother who also died in the last four years.

Lights shine bright with special memories of our loved ones no longer here to share this special season with us.

Diane Aplin with husband Gary and their children Jack and Sam.

• Diane Aplin

Nightingale Hospice was the game changer in how my late husband accepted and courageously faced his terminal diagnosis of cancer.

By the time we were introduced to the hospice in September 2020 we needed help: Gary needed help in coping with pain, I needed help and advice on how to support him and our teenage sons needed a safe space to download all that was going on. Coping with cancer, treatment and all that it brings is hard: doing it in lockdown in the middle of a pandemic made it almost impossible.

From the moment we walked into the hospice and Gary was able to share his worries and fear we knew we would be supported whatever lay ahead. From managing pain, to offering zoom calls to him to talk about his final plans, to meeting with and getting to know the boys we felt we had a huge team on our side.

Gary was determined to share another Christmas with us and with pain under control he used every bit of his stubborn nature to do that. But by January 3, things had changed and with the ever-constant support of his community nursing team Nightingale found a bed to offer respite, rest and review. Despite Wrexham being in full lockdown and covid cases spiralling, the hospice put a ring of protective calm around us, with the only question being what was right for Gary, me and the boys.

I will never forget their care, compassion, and love, shown in so many ways from the ice pops to help his mouth, to the fried egg and chips he asked for every day which he never ate but looking at it gave him pleasure, to the team making sure he could hear the football results. Listening to the Family Support team reassure him they would be here to support the boys whenever that time came helped calm and soothe his greatest fear of leaving us. And the care and love from the incredible nursing team in those final two weeks allowed him to find the courage to leave us on his terms, with no regrets, in a place he felt at rest in. He died on January 18, 2021.

Since then we have continued to have support from the hospice and know that if we need it we can just ask. We talk about Gary everyday, and are learning to live with the love he left us with rather than the pain that comes with him leaving.

Anniversaries and big celebrations are tough as it brings into sharp relief that he's not here with us. Being able to go to the hospice chapel and sit quietly and give thanks is important to us. Even going for a coffee at the Caffi Cwtch and remembering with a smile how much he loved it there helps on a bad day.

Light Up A Life provides us with an opportunity to publicly remember Gary, to 'say his name', to never forget. And importantly it allows us come together and share that moment with other families who like us wish to celebrate the life of a loved one at the same time as supporting the amazing work Nightingale does.