LGBT Adoption and Fostering Week: Cheshire couple share their adoption experience

From January 2006 unmarried couples, including same-sex couples, have been able to adopt jointly in England and Wales. But with many LGBT people continuing to have a high expectation of discrimination, it remains a challenge encouraging them to adopt. Jamie Bowman speaks to Chester-based Adoption Matters about LGBT Adoption and Fostering Week and hears from one couple about their experiences of adoption.

IT might be a surprise to learn, that according to new figures, more gay couples and fewer heterosexual couples are applying to adopt children in Britain.

Last year, one in seven adoption orders was made by a gay couple with many experts suggesting that the legalisation of gay marriage in 2013 has been a catalyst for more same sex couples to adopt.

Statistics from the Department of Education show that one in 10 children are adopted by same-sex couples which has increased from 5.7 percent to 9.9 percent over the last five years.

The UK is only one of only 14 countries in the world where gay couples can adopt children but despite having equal rights many homosexual couples worry they still suffer discrimination. They report waiting longer to adopt and say they're more likely to be given older children than their heterosexual counterparts

However, despite these doubts, campaign groups hope that more lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) adopters and foster carers will come forward to provide loving, stable homes for children across the UK, particularly for those over four years old and sibling groups and this week (March 5-11 2018) sees the return of New Family Social's LGBT Adoption and Fostering Week campaign.

Organised by New Family Social, the UK support group for LGBT adopters and foster carers, the week sees agencies across the UK hold events specifically for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender prospective parents who are considering adopting or fostering.

One such agency is Chester-based Adoption Matters, an independent adoption agency who have been offering adoption services across the whole of the North West of England, North East Wales, parts of Yorkshire and Humber and to the South Staffordshire and Stoke to families since 1947.

Adoption Matters chief executive, Norman Goodwin CBE, says: "We know from experience that LGBT people often come to adoption and fostering with an open mind and real enthusiasm – it’s often their first choice for growing their family.

"Many of our children have had a very chaotic start to life, and we’ve seen them thrive with their new parents."

"You can be single, over 45 and you don’t need to own your own home to consider adoption. We need people with stability, love and resourcefulness who can who can help a child with whatever needs they may have."

One LGBT couple who have made the decision to adopt are Les and Michael from Cheshire, who have shared their experiences during LGBT Adoption and Fostering Week, in the hope others will be encouraged to follow their lead.

"Les and I both met while working overseas as holiday reps over 12 years ago," says Michael.

"After three years travelling we decided to come home and join the real world. We moved to the North West for work and have called Cheshire home ever since.

"We both work within the travel industry and we love to travel the globe as a family of three. We live in Cheshire with our little boy and our dog, Betsy and our tortoise Porky."

Michael says that he and Les did their research before choosing the agency they felt could help them the most.

"We did a lot of research on a few agencies, and we got literature sent to us from all of them," he remembers.

"Reading and researching then followed for a few months before we made contact with Adoption Matters. We were lucky as we have a friend who had adopted through them the year before we started our initial enquiries.

"We went to see her and over a few cups of tea and after lots of questions we decided to take the next step and contact Adoption Matters."

From January 2006, unmarried couples, including same-sex couples, have been able to adopt jointly in England and Wales and it was soon after this change, a group of adopters and foster carers identified several areas of need, out of which NFS grew.

"From the minute we contacted we knew we had made a great choice," says Michael.

"The whole team where so welcoming, informative and very approachable. We had many questions throughout our whole process, but we never had to leave these questions unanswered as we always had a point of contact.

"The whole process was very professional and this left us both feeling confident we had made the right decision. Even now nearly three years since we became a family of three we know Adoption Matters are only a phone call away."

Recent research has encouraged lesbian and gay adopters to move into parenting, helped to dispel myths and increase agencies’ confidence in placing children. A recent UK study shows, for instance that the quality of parent-child relationships is just the same when children are adopted by lesbian or gay couples compared to heterosexual couples. It has also proved children’s psychological development and wellbeing is just the same when children are adopted by lesbian or gay couples compared to heterosexual couples.

"We have made lots of new friends within our community," says Michael. "We also have a very busy social calendar now; "Weekends are pretty full on with parties and play dates etc but the main joy has to be seeing through your own eyes, a child growing and developing in to their own individual little personality."

It hasn't all been plane sailing for Michael and Les who admit there have been challenges.

"Having no family nearby to help out with work, the school run and holidays and also people giving their advice - we have learned our own way," adds Michael.

"The birth parent has also said she doesn’t want any more letters and she won’t be writing anymore so we know this will be a challenge in the future.

"But overall it is so rewarding being a parent. Everyone’s journey is different so ask as many questions as you need, don’t be afraid as no question is a silly question. But don’t forget to ask yourself one question – what would your family look like in one year from now? The answer should make you want to take the first step."

To find out more information and meet some of the Adoption Matters team and their adopters will be attending New Family Social information event during the week on Thursday March 8 at 6:30pm at the LGBT Foundation 5 Richmond Street Manchester M1 3HF, contact them on Freephone 0300 123 1066 or visit www.adoptionmatters.org for more information.